When Love Defeats
by RavenForTheTree
Summary: I don't know what makes me do it. Maybe it's because I'm so defeated already. Maybe it's because he's already seen me cry. Or maybe it's because there's a part of me telling me to trust him ::: Skye and Malfoy have never gotten on at all well but when Skye's heart gets broken, Draco takes advantage of her vulnerability. But can this nothing turn into something so much bigger?
1. Chapter 1

**So this is a story I wrote for one of my BFFs because she is a massive potterhead (like myself!) and is in love with Draco Malfoy and all his sexiness ;) It's quite trashy and a little ****_older _****than what I'm used to writing but I hope you enjoy it. Constructive criticism is much appreciated - please follow, favourite and review - I do not own Harry Potter (obvs) but please enjoy xx :)**

* * *

**Chapter One**

What's she doing here at this time of night, gliding along the corridors, like some kind of ghost with all the fucking time in the world? Doesn't she realise it's a school night (well, morning now) and there are teachers about. Surely Corner taught her something. He is a Ravenclaw. So is her friend Hannah. She's a real pain, that one. All she ever does is check her reflection and reapply her makeup and trade mascaras and nail polishes and all that crap with Skye and all their other annoying friends.

But they're only the beginning. Her annoying friends and her embarrassment of a boyfriend are nothing compared to her. Skye Brogan. Her name even gives me shivers.

I really don't know what to make of that girl. I hated her for the first year of knowing her. I hated her so much that the thought of her boiled fury in the pit of my stomach and made my head pound. Harry Potter was probably the only person alive who I hated more than Brogan. But then it all changed. One day I was in a massive fight with her and the next I was so... I don't know. My feelings were kind of messed up for all of third year. I liked her in this weird way. I got shivers when she brushed past me and when she looked at me I could feel myself getting nervous. Luckily, I've learned to control that.

Don't get me wrong, I still hate that bitch. I hate that even though she's a blood-traitor and believes in all this "school pride" and "house unity" crap she still manages to be friends with everyone. Everyone in Hogwarts likes her. She's kind and modest and sweet towards everyone! Well, except Pansy.

And me, I guess.

She hates me more than ever since last year. You know what I did? I stupidly asked her to go to the Yule Ball with me.

How idiotic am I?

But she said yes. That was shocking. She said yes. To me.

Looking back on it, she probably only said yes because she was in third year and if she wasn't invited by someone in fourth year or above then she wouldn't have been able to go and nobody wanted to miss the Yule Ball. Well, nobody but Potter.

Anyway.

We were arguing about Quidditch and it sort of came out. I'd recently been teased for not having a date yet and I just said to her, "why do you hate me?" And she said, "Why do you hate me?" And I just stared down at her. At her soft blonde hair and delicate skin and realised how little space was between us and I said it. Barely whispered it but she heard loud and clear and stepped about a foot away from me in surprise. I turned to walk away when she said yes. Just "yes".

That's not why she hates me so much. We actually got on for the beginning of the evening but no, Pansy Parkinson had to ruin everything. If it wasn't for her then Skye would be gliding down the corridor with me at 2 a.m.

So, we were dancing. Not just us two, we were in a group, and Skye went to get a drink but told me she'd be back in a second. The Weird Sisters had just been playing a personal favourite of mine and from what I saw, Skye's friends were giggling about the lead singer.

So yeah, that song finished and a slow one began and me, Crabbe and Goyle were about to sit down when Pansy asks me to dance with her. Did she not realise I had a date? So not only did she dance way to close to my body, she also kept telling me not to worry and saying things like, "don't you realise Skye only said yes so she could come to the ball?" And "you really think she likes you? Seriously?" And "you hate her, Draco; I thought you asked her for a joke." And then she snogged me. Right there. Just as Skye got back. Pansy looked at Skye and laughed and then Skye laughed also. I thought there was a second of sadness in her eyes but maybe that was imagination. And so not to look even more foolish, I laughed too and kissed Pansy on the neck.

That was the end of me and Skye. Not that I care. She went off with Michael Corner that very evening and they've been together ever since. It didn't hurt me because I knew it was my fault. If I had tried to win Skye back-

No. She never even liked me. There was no relationship to win back. I keep forgetting.

I still don't like her. I hate her sometimes because she knows just how to wind me up but I know she hates me more for playing her like that. But she played me back. Bitch.

"Move." Says a harsh whisper. I open my eyes to see none other than Skye herself. Even tired, she still looks beautiful. Shut up, Draco.

"Excuse me?" I snarl.

"I said, move!" She takes a step towards me. She may be smaller than me but it doesn't make her any less threatening. I don't like to admit it but when she gets all fierce on me she kind of makes me, I mean like, when she. Just. Well. Shut up, Draco.

"Maybe I don't want to..." I say simply.

Skye takes another step towards me and folds her arms across her chest. "Don't make me hex you."

"You know, Brogan," I begin, choosing my words very carefully, "considering how much you hate me, you seem to spend a lot of time very... err... close to me." I smirk, knowing that she's going to retaliate. I don't think I'll ever get over how cute she looks when she's mad. Merlin, Draco, shut up!

"What exactly are you talking about?" She says slightly shyly.

"What's this? A centre meter?" I say measuring the space between us with my fingers. I smirk again as I quickly wrap my arms around her small waist and lightly place my hands around her arse. She tries to grab at me and push me away but she doesn't scream for help. I admire her for that.

"Malfoy, you're a sick fucking-"

But I don't get to hear what I am. I'm already lifting her and pushing her up against the wall with my body pressing against her. After a bit of struggling she realises I'm not doing anything, just watching her with a grin on my face as she tries to free herself from my tight grasp.

"-bastard." She hisses, "That's what you fucking are."

"Language, Miss Brogan! We wouldn't want to be punished now, would we?"

She just stares at me. She knows I'm bigger than her, stronger, faster, more experienced; yet she doesn't give up. I admire her for that too. "Let go!" She whispers angrily.

"Only when you admit you want me."

"Oh perlease! You know, Malfoy, your ego is just... enormous!" She says.

"Yeah, well, that's not all either!" I lick my lips and lean into her as if I'm about to kiss her but suddenly let her down and take a step back instead, making her slightly confused but still angry.

I've actually never seen her this angry. Not only does she slap me but she grabs me by the collar and pushes me up against the wall, her hand at my throat. I kind of like.

"I'm carrying my wand." She whispers.

"I know," I whisper back. "Do you want to take mine too? It's in my trouser pocket so you might need to feel around for it"

I'm quite proud of myself now. I mean, I know she slapped me and hexed me twice after my last comment but still. I've got her right in the palm of my hands.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"So, how was your late night walk with Michael?" Hannah asks as soon as I sit down at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. I usually sit anywhere I can see any of my friends.

"Yeah, you look exhausted! What time did you get back?" Says Lavender Brown.

"It was great..." I say sleepily as I tuck into a bowl of cereal.

"And..." they say simultaneously.

"He... umm... told me that he loves me." I say nervously.

"Oh my gosh, really?"

"That's so cute!"

"What did you say?"

"What happened then?"

"So are you two really serious now?"

"Did you get up to anything...?"

"Guys!" I practically shout.

We look all along the Gryffindor table to see many faces looking at us.

"Everything alright?" Ron asks as he sits next to a girl in my year (who stops smiling and stares wide-eyed) and opposite Harry and Hermione.

"Yeah," I say, "these two were just getting over excited."

"It was you too!" Says Hannah.

"What about?" Asks Harry.

"Oh... err..." I begin.

"The next DA meeting." Lavender whispers, fluttering her eyelashes for extra measure and takes a galleon out of her pocket. "We're awaiting your call. Which will be...?"

Harry, Ron and Hermione all look around frantically in case somebody heard. "Soon" they all whisper before disappearing quickly.

Lavender finishes the last of her cereal and stands up. "Anything urgent you have to share before I go to lessons?"

"Oh yeah! I'm thinking of getting a perm, do you think it would suit me?" Hannah begins but I ignore her.

"I almost snogged Malfoy. And yeah I think you'd look great, Hannah." I smile nervously before grabbing my bag and leaving the rest of my breakfast. "Anyway, must dash. I don't want to be late for McGonagall"

Hannah and Lavender just stare at me as I quickly run away.

* * *

I don't have to look up to know its Skye who's entering the common room in a rage. Nobody else slams a door quite as hard as she does. I don't even have to look up to know that she's been crying because I can tell by the way she stumbles over to the stairs down to the girls' dormitories.

"Need any help in there?" I call as she begins to descend down the stairs.

"Fuck off"

"Wait!" I jump up and stop her before she closes the door. "I heard about you and Corner."

"Goodnight, Malfoy." She snaps as she pushes the door closed but my hand is in the way.

"-and I just thought you should know that he's a prick for cheating on you."

"Don't talk about him!"

"-and I'm here for you if you need anything." I raise my eyebrows and she gives me a look of disgust before finally shutting the door.

* * *

I don't know how long I've just been standing here in this shower cubicle. I washed my hair and my body and my face and now I'm just letting the hot water wash away all the pain. I scrub at my skin for ages, trying to remove his touch from my face and my arms and my neck. Luckily the taps here never really run out and I can stand for ages until my legs hurt and I'm sitting on the floor of the shower with my head between my knees, no longer trying to hold back tears.

After what seems like an hour, there's a knock on the door and a voice calls, "Skye are you okay? We're worried about you." I know by 'we' she just means her. Nobody else cares anymore - she doesn't either, she just feels bad that I'm alone.

"I'm fine, Emma!" I shout. "I'm just getting out now." After a few more seconds I turn off the water and begin to towel myself dry.

I can't stop seeing it. It repeats over and over again in my head. It was only a few hours ago that I was explaining in detail my date with Michael to my friends but now. I don't know. And right after last night too! A night where he'd told me that he loves me. And what did I say? Nothing. Just smiled and hugged him. Honestly, I didn't know what to say. But I do love Michael. Well, I think I do. I'm not sure. Do I? He made out with Weasley right in front of me only a few hours ago and then when he saw he me he looked so (sorry?) guilty. I don't love him. Filthy half-blood. Oh, crap, what am I turning into?!

* * *

After weeks of being ignored she finally came around. I knew it would only be a matter of time before she would and now that she has I'll make her see that Corner is nothing compared to me. He may be intelligent and gentlemanly and all that shit but I'm Draco and she's Skye and well, you know what they say: blondes have more fun.

So anyway, all month she's been ignoring Corner's pathetic attempts to win her back and my slightly crude comments but this evening after dinner she handed me a note.

You were right.

Yes, I am fucking right. I've been telling her for weeks (even while they were still together) that he may be really 'sweet' and whatever but that's it really. Sweet and clever. I may be quite rude and sometimes less than gentle and I know I've got a lot of anger but I also know that I can give her so much more than he ever could.

So this note. Does it mean she wants me to ask her out? Or does she just want some kind of fling? Yes, she's only fourteen and it won't be love or anything but it's worth a shot. It's not as if it will damage my reputation. Everyone knows what I'm known for...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Nobody can know it was me who asked you here." I whisper nervously as I drag Malfoy (yes, I've sunk very low this time) along the corridor of the dungeons, past Professor Snape's classroom and into a small storage room.

"Fine." He whispers back. "Just tell me, where we are."

I shift from foot to foot nervously as I close the door behind us. "Oh, you know, just a storage room. It's being emptied for cleaning."

"OK" he says. I can feel his eyes looking at my face and my body and I'm not sure if I want to know what he's thinking about doing to me and if it was the best idea to ask him of all people. Shut up, of course it was. He was right when everyone else was wrong. Eventually I look hum in the eye again and he smirks.

"Give me your wand." I say.

"Hands or mouth?" He asks but then realises I'm not playing and hands over his wand. His real wand.

I take it and examine carefully. It's a lot longer than mine, probably because he's a lot taller than me, but it's not as firm. I place it in the inside pocket of my robes and walk over to him until he's right up against the cold stone wall, a playful smile on his lips. They look soft and slightly pink like the tinge in his cheeks. Is he nervous? I know I am. I mean, his face is just so... shut up, Skye. He's a bastard - you hate him, remember?

I take a deep breath. "I err-"

"Don't be nervous, Brogan. Just take all your emotions out on me."

Wow, he's an idiot. I grunt as the palm of my hand comes into contact with his face.

"What the fuck was that for?!" He yells.

"Shut up!" I hiss as I cover his mouth with both hands and push him further against the walls. "You told me to let out my emotions."

"Didn't you realise what I meant by that?!" He asks.

"Of course I did." I smile at him falsely while he rubs his raw cheeks. How badly I wish they were my hands caressing his face. Holy fuck, Skye, get a grip. "I'm angry so I let out anger."

"Any other feelings in there?" He says. I smile playfully and he winces as I bring my hand up again but this time I don't slap him I just touch his face. Gently.

"Skye?"

"I really want to punch you." I state.

"Do it."

"I can't" I whisper. And I realise that I mean it.

We stand in silence for a couple of minutes and I can feel his hand making its way around my waist and further down my back until he's almost reached my skirt and just he's about to reach where he knows he's not allowed, I knee him right in the stomach.

"Missed my crotch." He groans as he bends over to grab his stomach.

"I don't want to do any real damage." I say. "I might need it at some point." And I personally award myself five million house points for having the courage to say that.

"When exactly will that be?" He asks, his eyes growing wider.

I shrug.

"Sooner rather than later, they say."

"B-better late than never, they also say." I stutter slightly. What the fuck is happening?

Before I know it, Malfoy's got me up against the wall and his hands are wandering again. I could stop him but I don't. He's so close I can smell the cologne on his skin and feel his warm breath on my neck. "Come on, Brogan"

I like it. I like it too much - you like it too much, Skye, this is wrong! So I hold in the moan about to escape my lips and grab him by the neck, forcing him away from me.

"Stop pretending you don't like it. Everyone knows you're a whore" He grins with pride but it doesn't last long because I really have punched him this time and the space below his lip is bleeding. His beautiful face is bleeding and I did it to him, I did it.

He deserves it - he called me a whore.

I stride towards him and hold out his wand in offering. He snatches it up quickly before taking a long step away from me.

I can't help but notice how swiftly he moves his body and how long his legs are and strong too. And I think that maybe (shut up, Skye) I'm falling for him just like the others. It's third year all over again.

Shut up, Skye!

I want to be his but I want to hurt him too. Hurt him like he hurt me. Embarrass him like he embarrasses me in front of my friends almost every day. I want him to feel pain. I want him to feel as much pain as I did when I was labelled the blood-traitor of the family and I want him to feel neglect like I do. Like I have done since the day my relatives practically disowned me and refused to talk to me half the time.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" He yells.

"Shut up!" I hiss.

"Blood-traitor!"

And instead of thinking it through like a person does, I push him as hard as I can. I hear the deafening thud as he hits the concrete wall.

I feel bad now. Really bad. I didn't mean for his head to actually hit the wall it's just that this room is so small.

So I stand beside him, he's not damaged too much, and I stroke his soft blonde hair away from his eyes.

"What do you want?" He says menacingly.

I wipe the blood from his chin and kiss him. I kiss him like I've never kissed anyone because it's not at all soft nor gentle but strong and controlling. I force my tongue into his mouth and grip his shirt in my hands but he doesn't protest. He may be used to being in control but that doesn't change how much he enjoys it. As I pull away I take his bottom lip between my teeth until he hisses in pain and I know I've done enough. Caused enough pain.

For now, anyway.

He's grinning at me like an idiot. Probably feeling proud of himself for almost getting laid. As if I would ever do that.

I shake my head quickly. "Forget everything." I say meekly before I turn and leave the room quickly.

* * *

What is going on? She's gonna shove me. No she won't- and I'm out. What is this girl's problem? Slowly the room comes back into focus but I close my eyes to stop the pain. Never mind. I like it.

OK, I'm officially mentally disturbed.

I leave my eyes closed and breathe slowly, trying to understand what's going on. Suddenly I feel cold fingers on my forehead. They're soft and gentle and unfamiliar and I don't know what she's doing or what she wants so I ask.

But the words come out a little more violently than intended.

She doesn't reply. Not with words. I just close my eyes and before I know it her lips are on mine and I'm kissing her like I've never kissed anyone before. Its rough and fast paced and I like it because she's in control and I don't know what's happening and it's a surprise because it's her shoving her tongue down my throat and it's her hands running up and down my body and it's me letting out a tiny moan of pleasure because I like it so much.

But it ends a bit too soon for my liking. How badly I want to touch her and surprise her but she's already running from the room telling me to forget everything that happened.

I want to obey her but this time I can't. She's too fucking gorgeous to forget about and when I'm touching her I feel like my heart is on fire. A good kind of fire. Because this is more than kissing. More than sex (which is hopefully on her to-do list). Its lust.

My name is Draco Malfoy and I am lusting for Skye Brogan.

There.

I said it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I'm actually scared now because I seriously don't know who I am anymore. I still haven't told my friends about my most recent encounter with Malfoy (not that they'd listen) or that I plan on meeting him again tonight.

It's been two weeks since the incident with Malfoy and in those two weeks I've had roughly twelve detentions, been failing in almost all of my subjects and have lost too many friends to count. It's my own fault, I know, but I can't figure out where all this anger is coming from. These past two weeks I have been arguing with teachers, forgetting about homework and I must admit that I've been quite mean to a lot of people.

My first detention was for not doing my Charms homework and my second for telling Professor Flitwick that I purposefully didn't do it because I knew he'd have enough trouble as it is carrying a pile of papers taller than him and I was doing him a little favour. After that they were mainly for hexing people and talking back to teachers but the one I'm most disgusted by is the detention I sat last night and will continue after Christmas.

A Hufflepuff boy accidentally walked into me in the corridor making me drop my books. I recognised him as Tom Gillert, a first year muggleborn. He was actually really nice but I was still really angry for some reason and when he offered to help me pick up my books I just looked at him and said, "don't touch my books, you filthy mud blood" then shoved him right into Professor McGonagall.

She gave me a weeks' worth of detention and made me apologize to the crying boy. I had to do it quickly before anyone caught me crying too. I've never been more ashamed.

And the worst part is that it spread around the school and now I really don't have any friends.

I'd be glad it's Christmas if both Michael and Malfoy weren't staying at Hogwarts this year but sadly they are.

This ought to be fun.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Expect me tonight.

Where? When? Are these details not classed as important to her?

I waited for her in the common room for hours but then reminded myself that she's not worth it (even though she is - for fuck sake Draco!) so gave up and went to bed. It's 3 a.m. now and I can't sleep. I'm thinking about her and her touch and her scent and how good it feels when she digs her nails into my skin and when she kissed me like she did only a couple of weeks ago.

And now I'm alone.

After a while I realise I'm not the only one in the room. All the boys in my year went home for the holiday but me. The room should be empty.

I light my wand and shine it around the room for a closer look.

"You won't be needing that" says a voice.

I turn around to see Skye casually sitting on the edge of my bed, still in her uniform while I'm only in my pyjama bottoms. She stands up and takes my wand out of my hands making me unable to protect myself. Hopefully there will be no need for me to.

"You came." I say.

"I did say I was coming" she says. I smile as she locks the door with my wand before placing it on the table.

"How did you get in?" I ask.

She shrugs, "I'm sneaky"

I look at her for a moment before saying "are you still angry?"

"yes." crap. "But I've learnt to control that."

I grin at her in the darkness before bringing arms around her. "So what are you here for then?"

She sighs and begins stroking my bare chest absentmindedly and I have to lift her chin with my hand to get her to look at me.

I've heard the rumours that she's been getting into trouble and been feeling really down recently but I didn't realise it was this bad. There's no fire in her eyes, no spark and it makes me sad.

But only for a second.

She can be miserable all she likes - I don't care.

(But you do)

Why can't my brain shut up?!

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by Skye's lips crashing against mine while she runs her fingers through my hair and I know that she's not feeling as strong as she felt last time. Maybe she won't protest if I decide to take control.

I move my hand up to her waist and push her down onto my bed. Like I thought, she doesn't oblige. She lets go of my lips to catch her breath and I use this opportunity to claim her neck with my teeth, biting her shoulder and her ear a little harder than necessary. The feel of her hands against my skin brings shivers to my spine and I find myself wondering when she'll be ready. I should do it anyway, I don't care about her (but I do) so what does it matter?

Skye brings her leg up over my back and forces my crotch against her and I know she can feel me and I'm not sure how she's feeling or if she's scared but she's a little whore that's what she is (that's what she isn't) and she deserves to be scared (she doesn't).

Serves her right for slapping me.

And before I've properly thought about it, my hand is working its way up her skirt and brushing the fabric between her delicate skin and my fingertips and she doesn't like it but I'm doing it anyway. And I keep doing it and she's pulling at my hair and I hear a light moan escape her lips and I look at her and I realise that she's moaning not out of pleasure but because she's trying not to cry.

But I don't stop (even though you should).

And I press my chest closer to hers so I can feel her ragged breathing. I can feel that she's scared but I don't stop (stop it, Draco) and I don't feel guilty (you do! You feel like a monster). And I'm not looking at her face anymore because she looks too sad and it's harder to keep going when she looks so sad.

And it suddenly hits me.

Is this rape?

But of course it isn't (you know it is)! She came into my room and she kissed me and she's not pushing me away. She's not asking me to stop.

But she's not enjoying it either.

And I stop. And I think, what are you doing to her? And I think, who are you? Why are you doing this?

And I move my hand away and I begin to stroke her arm gently, trying to soothe her because I know I don't care about her (you do) but it doesn't mean I can still do this to her.

"Why did you stop?" She whispers after a few seconds.

I sit up on the bed and she sits up next to me. "You wanted me to"

"No"

"Yes you did." I say.

"No, I didn't." She replies, regaining her confidence. "I like it."

"You don't."

She doesn't even bother to argue back this time, she just pins me to the bed instead and begins kissing me and I let her because there's nothing else for it, really. And I don't even stop her when she starts taking off her jumper or when she asks me to touch her again. And I can't lie and say I hate everything that's happening right now because I don't. Because she's sitting against me and I can see her face growing hot and I can hear a sigh from the pit of her as I whisper her name into her hair and I know that making her stop would quite frankly displease both of us (but it would be the right thing to do) and I'd rather not do that.

(Even though it's killing you to see her this way).

* * *

It's around noon when I wake up and the dormitory is bright and empty like I usually find it on a Saturday. I'm always last to wake up but I'm never usually this late. I groan as I sit up and push my duvet away from me and see that I'm still wearing my school skirt and knickers on my bottom half but only my bra on the top. I must've dropped everything and fallen straight to sleep when I got back last night.

Last night.

I'm not sure what to say about that. I've never felt more... needed. I know I wasn't needed - he could've had any girl do that for him. Any other girl would of shagged him right there and then but I drew the line. The second he tried to get past the thin fabric of my knickers, I was up and out of there.

At least I have some self-respect left.

I can't tell anybody about it though because it would only ruin my reputation more. I'm already hated by almost everyone.

I finally get up and find my shirt and jumper at the foot of my bed. No tie. I'll just have to sneak in there and get it later.

I strip down all my clothes while I wait for the shower to get hot and see that my knickers are still quite damp...

I notice I have quite a few marks on my body and I'm positive they weren't there yesterday. Not only are there love bites on my neck but on my shoulder and ear as well! I also notice bruises on my waist and legs and there's pain in my hips from being banged against Malfoy's-

I think I'm going to be sick.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

My dorm. Midnight.

Already? And I thought last night was tiring...

* * *

I'm bored and lonely. All I want is a good friend who I can trust and can talk to about all this but I don't have one of them. I guess there's always Emma but she's only really my friend when she knows she can get something out if it. Anyway, whoever I told about all this would be disgusted. I know I am.

If you look at it one way then it's all right: two teenagers in a grown up relationship.

Except that's not what it is at all. I'm fourteen and he's sixteen and we're not even in a relationship and I don't do it because I love him, I do it because I'm sad and lonely and I need something and that something is him. It doesn't matter that I've been denying it for years, I need him. And now that I've had a taste of what it's like, I can't help myself anymore. He's like my own special brand of heroin and I'm 100% hooked.

But there's no way I can tell anyone that. They'd hate me. So I keep it to myself and I do my homework and I eat in the kitchens and I avoid the Common Room or the library or the Great Hall or anywhere that Malfoy or Michael might be. So really, I've been in the kitchens and my dormitory. I really don't feel like talking to anyone left at Hogwarts because none of them like me anymore.

I'm just glad it's finally midnight because any second now, he'll be here and I won't be alone anymore.

* * *

The past three nights have been... different. The first, she turned up at my dorm and was quite reluctant, the second in her dorm she was willing to show a little more flesh and the third. Well, I don't know how to put it. Let's just say, I've never had it like that. Ever. And I've been done by many, many girls. I'm not sure what to expect next time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It's midnight when I nervously knock on the door, hugging my clothes close to my body. I only have to wait a couple of seconds before he opens the door with a large grin on his face.

"Again?" He asks.

I step inside, locking the door behind me. "Am I too much for you?" I smile.

He grins mischievously before closing the space between us with his lips. His tongue is lightly licking my lips, begging for entrance while he runs his strong hands up and down my body, unzipping my jeans and furiously tearing my T-shirt from my torso. I reply by slipping his lose joggers down his legs and directing him towards the large mattress of his bed.

We continue to play along, not taking our time to undress each other, until we're just a tangle of arms and legs.

I can feel my skin tingle when his fingers brush my back, skilfully undoing my bra with one hand while the other continues to stroke my thigh getting higher and higher until he's stroking the soft material of my knickers that very soon join the pile of discarded clothing at the foot of the bed.

Malfoy takes a break from caressing me just to examine my body. I can feel my face flushing. After only a few moments I crawl over to him and remove his final piece of clothing revealing all of him to me. Now it's my turn to examine and admire him. To admire all of him. The toned chest and the long legs and the strong arms and gorgeous gorgeous face of the one person I swore I'd never get involved with ever again.

He beckons be over to him and I can tell he's feeling 's never been allowed to look at or touch this much of me before. I'm feeling nervous too but all my jitters are disappearing as waves of pleasure seep through my body at his familiar touch.

* * *

I smile into her soft blond hair as she slowly coils away from me.

"Draco" she whispers into my ear.

I pretend I didn't hear her and continue planting kisses down her jawline.

"Please," she begs, "And I don't want you to be gentle either. I want it to hurt."

"Skye..." I whisper.

"Please, Draco!" She cries out, "I need you."

"You don't." I insist.

"I do!"

"I can't." I say simply, still stroking her soft skin.

"For fuck sake!" She yells. "You've shagged half the girls in school! Why not me?!"

"You've never done this before."

"Emily had her fist time with you!" She protests.

"You're not Emily. You're different" You're special.

"Why?!" She asks. And I can't risk telling her why. So I agree and she smiles and kisses me crawls underneath me and I get myself ready.

"You're sure about this?" I ask.

"Positive."

So I go forwards.

But not all the way.

I can't do it. "I can't break you" I whisper.

"I'm already broken." She whispers.

And now I'm broken too. Seeing her like this, hearing her say that. It breaks me and I have to ask her to leave before I let any more of my emotions show - or worse; give into her.

* * *

Malfoy won't even shag me. That's how unappealing I am.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"You can't hide from me forever." I whisper, making Skye drop the book she was holding. She picks it up and takes a hasty step away from me. I guess you could say that we're not as friendly in public.

"Who said I was hiding?" She says.

"Well," I begin, "you've been avoiding me in the day time and the only time I see you is in our little meetings-"

"Ssh!

"-and you didn't come last night. Not after I wouldn't have sex with you the night before." I finish in a whisper.

I lean against the bookshelf in the library and watch as she tries to figure out what to say. I can't help but notice how beautiful she looks with her hair down and I desperately want to brush away the hair from her face but I restrain myself.

Come on, Draco, she's not that pretty (she's stunning) so what's the big deal?

"I just don't think we should see each other in public..." she mumbles.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because... well... everyone thinks we hate each other and we're not really acting like we do."

"I don't hate you." I whisper.

"Yes you do."

"No. You've always hated me. In second year I hated you and in third year you still pissed me off but after fourth year, I-" I stop mid-sentence. I can't let her hear all of this! What would she think of me?! She'd think I've gone soft or something.

"You what?"

"I have to go now." And I turn and leave the library and as soon as I've left I sprint down the corridor.

* * *

"Wait!" I go after him and am about to leave the library when I feel a hand grip my shoulder. I turn to see Michael smiling at me. I've done so well at avoiding him and now, the one day I decide to leave the dungeons, he's here.

"Skye, I've been trying to talk to you for weeks!" He says.

"Yeah, well I've been avoiding you for weeks." I snap.

"I kind of figured that out. Please, just talk to me so I can go home for Christmas. I've been waiting for so long!" He begs.

"I can't. Not now I have to..." I begin.

"What? Go after Malfoy? What's going on with you two? You've stopped talking and when you do talk you're all secretive about everything. And Lucy said you've been leaving your bed for the past couple of nights and coming back really early. Yeah, somebody noticed. So don't pretend nothing's going on because I know something is and I will find out!" He yells, earning himself an icy glare from the librarian.

"You don't know anything!" I say, my voice going wobbly.

"I know that you've been sleeping with Malfoy."

My face falls and I can feel tears brimming.

"Stop it, stop crying! He says harshly.

"I don't cry."

"Well, you almost did." I push him away and run out of the library and keep running until I get to the seventh floor and luckily, there are the large oak doors to the room of requirement.

I nervously open them and there in the centre of the room is a beanbag. Just one. The room has transformed itself into a door less room with countless large windows and lanterns glowing in the semi-darkness and it's very calm and peaceful because I asked this room to transform into somewhere I can think.

I take a deep breath and collapse onto the giant beanbag and I can't stop myself anymore. I don't know who I am anymore and I'm more alone than I've ever been in my life so I cry.

There's one thing everybody knows about Skye Brogan and it's that she doesn't cry. Ever. And I haven't cried for years and years and now that I've started I don't think I can stop. Not ever. Because everything's gone wrong again all so quickly. It was never right in the first place really because I was always a fake, a bitch, a fake plastic bitch and that's not me but if that's not who I am then who am I? Seriously. I don't even know who I am or where come from and I can't even name a single person who I definitely loves me. Not one. So I cry and I cry and I don't stop until I fall asleep. Alone. As usual.

* * *

I can't sleep. I'm so tired but I can't sleep because I'm thinking about her again and wondering what would have happened if I'd revealed my feelings to her back in the library. How would she have felt? But now I don't know. All I know is that it's Christmas Eve and I'm not happy and she's not happy and I have to find her because she deserves to be happy. More than anyone.

I don't know where I'm going just that I'm running and my feet are taking me there but I don't know where 'there' is. There are too many staircases and corridors and classrooms and Skye could be anywhere. I know it was only a few minutes ago I asked Lucy if Skye was in her bed but wherever she went she could be back by now, safe and sound.

I round a corner and find myself on the seventh floor. There's no use, I think, she could be anywhere. I'm tired (but not too tired to keep going). That's right. I must keep going. And as I run down the corridor I try to organise my thoughts but there's nowhere to think in peace. And I'm thinking, I need to think, I need a place to think; and as if by magic (we'll, I am in Hogwarts) a large oak door appears out of nowhere. I've never noticed it before but it's definitely here. I'm not imagining.

Skye has to be somewhere and just as I needed to find her most, this door appeared so maybe it will help me find her?

Only one way to find out.

I open the door to reveal a large circular room with windows and candles floating high by the ceiling. In the centre of the room is Skye, sleeping on a green beanbag. But she's not peaceful. Every now and again she lets out a little whimper or a tear runs down her cheek.

Slowly, I make my way towards her and place a light hand on her shoulder to comfort her but it doesn't do that. Instead she coils away and lets out a louder yelp before dissolving into tear again.

"Skye! Wake up!" I whisper.

She continues to cry.

"Skye! Skye, wake up, you're having a nightmare!" I touch her arm again and shake her gently, "Skye!"

As soon as her eyes open, she's pushing me away, trying to escape my touch.

"Skye..."

Slowly she calms down but still won't let me touch her. Never mind. (Draco, you care about her).

I don't.

(You do)

I don't. Okay, fine. I won't hold it in anymore. I do care about Skye. I have done for a long time and I want to hold her in my arms and tell her that everything is alright. But she doesn't want me. She never has.

"What are you doing here?" She says.

"I came looking for you. This room brought me to you and well... here I am." I smile nervously.

"Leave."

"I can't."

"Please"

"No. You're upset" I stretch my hand out towards her, "and I want to be here for you."

"I'm fine." She whispers, turning away from me.

I sigh and turn her around so she's facing me and I carefully reach out and wipe away the last of her tears. "You were crying"

"I don't cry." She says simply.

"Ever?" I ask. I thought everyone cries. I know I do.

"No." She says.

"Well, you were." I touch her face and trace the black marks streaking out from beneath her eyes. "Why this?"

"Why what?"

I hold out my finger to show the black liquid. "Make-up?"

She nods.

"You don't need this." I smile.

"I do" she frowns.

I shake my head and laugh. "You don't understand, Skye. You're beautiful."

"You don't mean that." She says with piercing eyes. "You're lying."

"Honestly. To me you are the most beautiful thing that has been placed on this earth and I'm done being mean to you just to cover up my real feelings for you." I look away, shy and embarrassed of what I've just said but I'm not taking it back. I'm done hiding and lying to everyone, myself included.

"Don't say that. Please." She begs.

"Why?" That was not the response I was anticipating.

"Because it just makes everything worse if that's true. Because if that's how you feel about me then it means everything I've ever known is changing." She explains. "This can't be real."

"I don't understand."

"Well of course you don't!" She shouts frustrated. "Nobody understands! Nobody fucking understands what it's like to be me and to live my life and cope with my problems!"

"I know I don't understand." I say gently, trying not to let my anger pour over her, "but if you explained to me then maybe I could understand and maybe I could help you and make you feel better."

"You still wouldn't get it."

"It never hurts to try..." I smile encouragingly at her and we sit down together and she begins to tell me her story.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

I don't know what makes me do it. Maybe it's because I'm so defeated already. Maybe it's because he's already seen me cry. Or maybe it's because there's a part of me telling me to trust him. I don't know. But I tell him my story, start to finish, and this is how I say it to him:

"I was born into one of the oldest pure-blood families on the 24th July, 1981 and they absolutely adored me. My parents and other relatives brought my up by one simple rule: pure-bloods are superior to everyone. Meaning half-bloods were below us, blood-traitors were below us, muggleborns and squibs were below us and muggles were the lowest of the low.

They told me stories of all the horrible things muggles did to witches and wizards all the way up into the 18th Century just because of who they were and at first I agreed that muggles were the nastiest thing in existence but then I started to develop my own opinions.

My education before Hogwarts was very good. I was tutored by my mother and my grandfather in spelling, reading writing, maths and some history of magic. Most of the history we possessed were biased and were written by muggle-hating pure-bloods but a few were balanced and fair and from them I learnt that the muggles who captured and tortured witches and wizards were either horrible to everyone (not just magical people) or were extremely scared of what a wizard would do to them. I decided that I forgave the muggles for trying to kill us off because they were scared and threatened. If something or someone more powerful than me and my kind was threatening to me, I'd want to get rid of them too.

I was used to being praised and loved and able to share my opinions and I confidently shared with my family my new opinion on muggles and I thought they would be delighted that I'd been extra work but I was wrong.

That was the first time my parents were disappointed with me.

I soon learned to keep my mouth shut but once I was off to Hogwarts I was determined to make friends with as many muggle-borns and half-bloods as possible just to annoy my parents. I also tried breaking the family tradition of a having a fully Slytherin family but even though I begged the sorting Hat to put me elsewhere he said I was best for Slytherin because of my determination. So that's where I am.

But I was still never fully happy.

I was popular and smart and had good-grades and the teachers liked me but my family didn't. I haven't been home for Christmas since I was ten because they don't want me there and when I go back for the summer they leave the house all day and most of the night and don't speak to me because I'm a 'failure' and a 'blood-traitor' and I give the Brogans a bad name' just because I believe that all creatures should be treated as equals. Just because I think our abilities and our choices are far more important than our blood-status.

And I'd always had my friends who stuck by me but I never felt I could fully confide in them. They weren't always trustworthy and tended to bitch around quite a lot. But then I found, you, Draco.

You were the most arrogant, big-headed, status-proud twat I had met in my life. In some ways, you were worse than my mother and my family but there was something else. Even though we constantly argued about everything and even thou we had opposite views on so many things, I still felt that there was something between us. But because you were so arrogant and proud and because you discriminated against all other blood-statuses, I pushed you out of my mind. You were exactly what I didn't need in my life and if my parents knew I was friends or more than that with a Malfoy, they'd think I'd just come crawling back to them and start believing their ways again.

It worked for the first two years. We argued every day and every night I'd catch myself thinking about you but then in third year you asked me to the Yule Ball. And I stupidly said yes.

And surprisingly it was a great evening until I found you and Parkinson all over each other and I from that moment onwards, I didn't just feel hate towards you but I felt like I had been fools by you. And I felt weak and silly.

But I skipped off as my happy self and went to join a group of friends, thankful that I was popular enough to have friends in all years and in all houses. And that's when Michael told me he liked me and that's when I thought, Skye, just go out with him. Maybe, you'll feel better. And I did. For almost a whole year until I saw him and Weasley and I knew that I'd been fooled again.

Now, the first time I was played by a boy (meaning you), I got with Michael. So my friends were all like, wow you're so cool you got Malfoy and Corner on one night. But this time they just thought I was a bit sad really. Especially the older ones in fifth and sixth year. They ditched me after I bike up with Corner and then I got a bit upset and got angry at various people and lost even more friends. By the time I'd come to you for... errr... help, I had almost nobody. Emma and the other girls in my dorm still spoke to me and so did Cho, even though she's a lot older. And Luna's nice to everyone even if she is more Ginny's friend. But nobody was really that talkative or interested in being my actual friend and that's what scared me because everything was different.

I was unpopular, I didn't have a boyfriend, I was getting into trouble for calling a little boy a mudblood. That's not me. That's not hoe my life is. And now this: you telling me that you have feelings for me. Well, that's just it. It's not how it is. It's not how it's meant to be and I've been living my life so carefully for the past three and a half years and now it's all falling apart. Everything's changing and I don't know what to do."

He hasn't interrupted once and now all he's doing is looking at me and I can feel fresh tears brimming and I don't want him to see me like this. He can't see me like this. And I get u to run but he grabs my by the wrist and he's still not saying anything and I'm trying not to cry. I never cry. But everything's changing so I guess maybe crying is the new normal for me?

"Skye..." he finally says.

I look at him questioningly.

"Skye." He repeats. He then stands up and he doesn't say anything more he just wraps his arms around me and this time I let him because I can't control anymore. I can't do this alone anymore and I know that I hated him and I know he's everything I don't need in my life but he's also everything I want. And he's here. And his arms are open for me. So I let him hold me and I don't want to let go. Not ever.

* * *

I don't know how long we've been standing like this, holding each other, but it's a while that's for sure. And it's extremely late.

"Skye." I say into her hair.

"Mhmm?"

"It's really late. We should get back." I say softly.

"Okay..." she yawns. I support her around her waist and we try to stay awake enough to dodge Filch and Mrs Norris on our way back to the dungeons.

"Will you eat with me at Christmas dinner tomorrow?" I ask as she makes her way towards the girls' dormitory.

"Yeah." She nods sleepily and I turn to leave but she grabs me by the arm. "Sleep with me tonight."

"Skye, like I said the other day. I can't. I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you, I'm sorry." I explain.

"No. Not like that. I mean can I sleep next to you in your bed? Not sex or anything I just want to be with you..." her cheeks flush and she smiles coyly at me.

"Come on." I take her hand in mine, still unable to understand why she chose me.

* * *

My pillow is damp when I wake up and I realise that I've been crying in my sleep. I also notice that it's my damp pillow but it's not my bed or my room. And then I remember.

Last night was nice. That's the only word I can think of to describe it. It was nice because I spent all night feeling his arms around me and his hair tickling my forehead and his breath warming my neck and I've never felt safer.

I suddenly have another realisation. It's Christmas day.


End file.
